Jojo Not That Kinda Girl

fak yew why am i retarded. OH MY GAWWWDDD DAAAYYD STOP TRYNA TALK TO ME WHEN IM BLOGGING!!! anyway why i so retarded like the youtube video retard foods and say shit like BLANABBA! MERSHED PERTEDES! ive warren g smokin me out-ed fuckin sheeit loads of ciggarettes fucking el fumar the shit out of my brain so i die and end my shit life. lol jks fuck that shit id rather just be avril lavigne and go to a bridge and some stalker followed me and i was like oh ma gawd i dont know who you are but im . . . im with yyeeeewwww and your erect chorizo pointing towards me and your crack scabs glistening in the mooonlight xxxx. Anyway wtf i would love to learn to be cakeface and shit but im way too alty and avantgarde weigh under 40kgs and think vomiting up your mccains frozen peas on a teaspoon for dinner up is fashion type of guuurrrrllllll. its infectious! its in my blood to be HIGH (on dunk dat $hit donuts) fashion and think gaps inbetween the teeth and wannabe arian-ness and subtle weird beauty is beautiful. As an ex mass whore from d@ highschool days, wearing heels and a little dress in the middle of winter where my nips stick out cos its cold but i dont care cos its hawt I have now evolved into a respectable rapist that is aware that there are like some fuking people out there that are cough OLDER cough that appreciate my similar views in whats beautiful. like boarder line gay guys but theyre like totes straight lol jks there like similar evolved from da clubbin usher i wanna make luv in dis club monkeys to homosapien$$. Even though we totes have like the fuckin ability to have espn and tell if its gonna rain by seeing the different changes in our tits we are more mature than men generally so always has to be older mayne with the younger beetch mmmhmmmmm gurl put d@t in yo DICKSIANARY under the word "thisisright".
this is the gayest post ever. i hate life. jojo doesnt. i didnt even get to my da vinci code cryptic point of my dear diary entry. but cant be fucked writing it out. use yo espn skills and read ma mind marther fuckaa. ps i wish i was hank moody.


fak yew x

Aaliyah - Rock The Boat

Okay so you know how my new life is betterthanyew weeeeeeeeeeell last week i was hanging out with my millionaire boss and his #highroller friends and a couple of my friends from high school musical so its all very friendly friendly whatever whatever and shayt and we went out to do mega groceries for the luncheon (coz its not just lunch obviously you gotta have the "cheon" at the end of every meal with these pepolz like "breakfastcheon" and "dinnerchon") and he ended up with one of those never ending supermarket receipts that the cashier had to roll with her hand out of the machine as if it was a pulley for a flag or some shit and it came to about 400 buckeroos and most of it wasnt even real food like smelly danish blue cheese and 10 champagne bottles aaaaaaaaanyway we all rendevouscraigdavid with this car magnate magnum magneto? rich pepolz whatevs named DICK (appropriate enough) and dick had this very flashy bling hip hop music video kinda boat that we all just had to baptise with our backsides (backside baptism - great band name) and here we all were about 4 girls and 5 dudes all just drunkin and chattingonmsn the day away and we stopped to anchor the boat like the anchor would hit bikini bottom and attach itself to spongegbobs pineapple house and stuff and then the not-food was spread out on the table and i think i had about 3 heinekens, 2 wine glasses, 3 champagne glasses, and whatever aoli cheesesalsashrimpoystercaviar roll they served me and you got the doof doof music goin like yuh nigggaaaaa baaaasse in yo faaaasse! and repeat this process about 5 more times and you get a friggin weetbix triathlon goin like god knows what, and so it goes blazay sqwazay that the boat started moving and with this slowmotionforme comes the seasicknessforme and i went down below deck as pirates do and i lay my head down on the boats pillow and i couldnt handle the jandle of all the shit thats been happening so apparently i tried to stand up to spew outside but because aaliyah kept rocking the boat it was pretty fail and i was like a pinball in those machine you have to hit with those things and try to score points inside this deck and i dont remember but the next day i ended up with a massive attack cut across my chest from this situation and people had to explain to me that this is how i got it soooooooooo like you have me spewing on the side of the boat and they ordered a water-taxi (omg i had no idea they exist but yeah they do and they costed us about 150 bucks to get my sorry ass from the boat back to the shore) and people started being like omg look at this photo op instagram opportunity and i was on the wharf spewing into the water from the wooden planks and people were actual planking on me like a meme, welll weell they had to put me in the shower somehow when we all got back their fucking mtv cribs luxury apartment overlooking the cityscape and stuff but after i a few hours they woke me up and the madness of madmen ensues and we were on the champagne again and stuff but the highlight of the day was probably dancing stoned on our boat just as another boat filled with naked gay boys passed ours and i put my thumb and index fingers up to my mouth and did a lana del ray to one of them and that guy with the washboard abs was like oh shiyet wish i was on your boat honey but ive got a drag performance later tonight....

Simple Plan~ Perfect [[*Official Video*]] best ever!!!!

FFUUCK YEW MOOOMMMMM FFFUUUCCCKKK YYYEEEWWWW DDAAAAAAYDDDDDD!! AAARRREEEE YYYOOOUUU PRRROOOUUUDDD OOFFFF MEEEE??!!!! i was talking to a canadian on one of the day$ of ma bender. I wondered whether he wanted to commit cos simple plan are just too awesome and he will never evr forever ever and ever ever be able to be at their level up (world of warcrack) life. But i was too paranoid to ask cos ima sucha caraaazzzaaayyy GEISHA MOUNTAIN FAAACCCEEE thatwearsdocsandimblackwithablackbfthathaswhitehairandweliveinlondonwherewefoundlove and thought i could make this person cry and myself cry cos my dunkin donuts loyalty card was winking at me saying "oah oah oah oah so you topped yo stamps on the card up again ay beetch, next ones free! geisha donut fo lyf now get back to your convo gurl I'll reward you later on wink wink". Dont shed a tear. wipe yo eyes with dat maple leaf guurrl cos avril lavigne is a shitcunt and at least youre not got some black strip hair extensions from whatevs canadaland version of wall mart is isntead of the proper place you get hair pieces from which is Mo'Niques huuurrr did $$alon on fifty fith crenshaw. sheeeit.

Michelle Branch - "Everywhere" [Official Music Video]

Um I would like to refurrrby the blog please but im too sexually and technologically disabled to do it. Can you please bauhaus bmi fullstop the style of it because ive been swallowed up by fashion and andre leon talleys louis vuitton tennis equipment and am now too avant garde for the average blog commoner.
Aside from my request I MISS YOU! you are eeeveeerrrrywwwheeerrrreeee to me in deluxe bar, in my bend it like beckham benders, in my peymp chronical hip hop rnb biographical musicals, in my reflection when Im beautiful and youre not so FAK YEW!
Michelle Branch also is added to my life musical. She tells it like it is when I look at someone i wanna rape but im not feelin too violent (if im feeling violent its geniuwine-pony) but still sneaky watching from behind d@ bu$hes. LIP MY STOCKING!


FUCK YEW

Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know (Video)

SHEEEEEIT GURL SOZ HAVENT BLOGGED IN AGES. this isnt literal link to the song. so if you a fuckwit dumbcunt that cant understand my deep poetical da vinci code cryptic posts then stop reading now and go watch WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE FUCKER. anyway this is indeed a good theraputic blog for cheering the 90s lesbo i hate men and society etc person up. its not fashon to be permanent hungover waaa syndrome in the 2000's (or noughties if you will [thats the most shit nick name for our era blah blah . . . . noughties?! . . . noughties??!!! . . . really? .... REALLY BITCH?!]). if only we could go back to the 90s where you could permanently be hungover waaaaa whilst looking coolrosemcgowaneatmyfuck and be accepted. tip for being hungover waaa syndrome these days . . . . . STAY INDOORS. HIDE YO FACE. KEEP YOUR DUNK-IN-DAT-SHIT DONUTS CARD WELL AWAY FROM YOU. 2000's is all about being a shitcunt. dooooo iiiiiitttt. belong. belong. "we accept you one of us. we accept you one of us." (chant in retarded circus freak muchkin voice, cos its a quote fool)





FUCK YEW xx

Lloyd featuring Lil' Wayne - You [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO] Lyrics

OH MY GLOB! im making a pillowcase with vivid on it saying "lay it down hurrrrr" to take to . . . . . . . .THE LOYD CONCERT!! he can not care about my long hair!!!!! he can lay his head on my pillow!! i think i can die and be satisfyed. #LAYYOURHEADONMYAMAZEEXCITEDPILLOOOOOWWWWW!!

Da Kid Wrek - Oberlin Music Video

there's no place like a oooooooooo like a ooooooooooooo
you WISH you were from the hood in Oberlin.
but you're NOT.
so fuk yew!

Drake feat. Lil Wayne & Tyga - The Motto (Official Video)

I got so much swag that its pumpin out ma ovaries oh actually its drugs pumping out ma ovaries. fuck. Geez Why for everyone have swag and bitches? and i missed the waka pacific bus for dat cos i only had fuckin dollar twenty short of two stages up in life and bitches quality. i gotta make a drake comeback with proper swag and better quality bitches and catch the fuckin private tour bus not the public transport one for the general pimps that are just all about numbers and dumbitches and being a fuckwit that has no intellectual reason or mad issues for being a pimp. just pure dumbcuntness. but den again if you looked like a well fineass i definately would put aside yo brain. sheeeeeit you know why you aint got no brain bitch? coz i fucked the shit out of it last night. swag.

the motto is: fuck the bitches brains out before you realize the brains are missin. H@ppy Nu Ye@h$$ Love poplockdropandfuckit xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx