Aaliyah - Rock The Boat

Okay so you know how my new life is betterthanyew weeeeeeeeeeell last week i was hanging out with my millionaire boss and his #highroller friends and a couple of my friends from high school musical so its all very friendly friendly whatever whatever and shayt and we went out to do mega groceries for the luncheon (coz its not just lunch obviously you gotta have the "cheon" at the end of every meal with these pepolz like "breakfastcheon" and "dinnerchon") and he ended up with one of those never ending supermarket receipts that the cashier had to roll with her hand out of the machine as if it was a pulley for a flag or some shit and it came to about 400 buckeroos and most of it wasnt even real food like smelly danish blue cheese and 10 champagne bottles aaaaaaaaanyway we all rendevouscraigdavid with this car magnate magnum magneto? rich pepolz whatevs named DICK (appropriate enough) and dick had this very flashy bling hip hop music video kinda boat that we all just had to baptise with our backsides (backside baptism - great band name) and here we all were about 4 girls and 5 dudes all just drunkin and chattingonmsn the day away and we stopped to anchor the boat like the anchor would hit bikini bottom and attach itself to spongegbobs pineapple house and stuff and then the not-food was spread out on the table and i think i had about 3 heinekens, 2 wine glasses, 3 champagne glasses, and whatever aoli cheesesalsashrimpoystercaviar roll they served me and you got the doof doof music goin like yuh nigggaaaaa baaaasse in yo faaaasse! and repeat this process about 5 more times and you get a friggin weetbix triathlon goin like god knows what, and so it goes blazay sqwazay that the boat started moving and with this slowmotionforme comes the seasicknessforme and i went down below deck as pirates do and i lay my head down on the boats pillow and i couldnt handle the jandle of all the shit thats been happening so apparently i tried to stand up to spew outside but because aaliyah kept rocking the boat it was pretty fail and i was like a pinball in those machine you have to hit with those things and try to score points inside this deck and i dont remember but the next day i ended up with a massive attack cut across my chest from this situation and people had to explain to me that this is how i got it soooooooooo like you have me spewing on the side of the boat and they ordered a water-taxi (omg i had no idea they exist but yeah they do and they costed us about 150 bucks to get my sorry ass from the boat back to the shore) and people started being like omg look at this photo op instagram opportunity and i was on the wharf spewing into the water from the wooden planks and people were actual planking on me like a meme, welll weell they had to put me in the shower somehow when we all got back their fucking mtv cribs luxury apartment overlooking the cityscape and stuff but after i a few hours they woke me up and the madness of madmen ensues and we were on the champagne again and stuff but the highlight of the day was probably dancing stoned on our boat just as another boat filled with naked gay boys passed ours and i put my thumb and index fingers up to my mouth and did a lana del ray to one of them and that guy with the washboard abs was like oh shiyet wish i was on your boat honey but ive got a drag performance later tonight....

Simple Plan~ Perfect [[*Official Video*]] best ever!!!!

FFUUCK YEW MOOOMMMMM FFFUUUCCCKKK YYYEEEWWWW DDAAAAAAYDDDDDD!! AAARRREEEE YYYOOOUUU PRRROOOUUUDDD OOFFFF MEEEE??!!!! i was talking to a canadian on one of the day$ of ma bender. I wondered whether he wanted to commit cos simple plan are just too awesome and he will never evr forever ever and ever ever be able to be at their level up (world of warcrack) life. But i was too paranoid to ask cos ima sucha caraaazzzaaayyy GEISHA MOUNTAIN FAAACCCEEE thatwearsdocsandimblackwithablackbfthathaswhitehairandweliveinlondonwherewefoundlove and thought i could make this person cry and myself cry cos my dunkin donuts loyalty card was winking at me saying "oah oah oah oah so you topped yo stamps on the card up again ay beetch, next ones free! geisha donut fo lyf now get back to your convo gurl I'll reward you later on wink wink". Dont shed a tear. wipe yo eyes with dat maple leaf guurrl cos avril lavigne is a shitcunt and at least youre not got some black strip hair extensions from whatevs canadaland version of wall mart is isntead of the proper place you get hair pieces from which is Mo'Niques huuurrr did $$alon on fifty fith crenshaw. sheeeit.

Michelle Branch - "Everywhere" [Official Music Video]

Um I would like to refurrrby the blog please but im too sexually and technologically disabled to do it. Can you please bauhaus bmi fullstop the style of it because ive been swallowed up by fashion and andre leon talleys louis vuitton tennis equipment and am now too avant garde for the average blog commoner.
Aside from my request I MISS YOU! you are eeeveeerrrrywwwheeerrrreeee to me in deluxe bar, in my bend it like beckham benders, in my peymp chronical hip hop rnb biographical musicals, in my reflection when Im beautiful and youre not so FAK YEW!
Michelle Branch also is added to my life musical. She tells it like it is when I look at someone i wanna rape but im not feelin too violent (if im feeling violent its geniuwine-pony) but still sneaky watching from behind d@ bu$hes. LIP MY STOCKING!


FUCK YEW